DATELINE: Hong Kong, China 

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Author: Lauren Cohen

After all the time I've spent outside over the past three weeks, leave it to me to get sunburned on my last full day here. This morning I took the ferry from Central to Lamma Island, a quiet, car-less haven from the bustling city. I took the 90 minute walk across the island, winding up at a seafood restaurant on the water for lunch. The scenery rivaled Dali's, and perhaps even exceeded it because I was right in the thick of the lush green fields and small (steep but walkable) mountains. Nowhere near as fun as Dali though - definitely a half-day trip at most, unless you're on some sort of quiet romantic getaway. For lunch I ate poached shrimp, fried sweet-and-sour calimari, garlic scallop with thin noodles, and fried rice. By the time I made it back to Kowloon, it was pouring rain. I decided to head back to the hotel to change out of my sweaty clothes. I also decided to do a load of laundry so that I wouldn't have to go home with a backpack full of smelly clothes. Plus I needed to kill some time to get hungry before heading out to dinner. When laundry was done and I went out, I still felt nowhere near ready to eat again. However, my feet were killing me from hiking across Lamma (or walking - is it hiking if the whole path is made of sidewalk?). I decided to live dangerously and follow a 5-foot tall Indian woman who stopped me on the street asking if I wanted a foot massage. She took me up in one of those elevators that have a door to the 10th floor of a dingy, nondescript building. It was decidedly darker and not as nice as the massage parlors I had visited in Shanghai and Beijing. I said I just wanted a foot massage, but the man in charge persisted in asking me to buy body or neck massages. He came out of his office about halfway through my massage and tried to offer me a discount. Then he came out again a few minutes later and told me that he's a "Chinese doctor" and can tell that my neck and shoulders are tight. I've spent a lot of time carrying around a heavy backpack, so they probably were tight. But from the looks of that place, I figured that my masseuse spent most of her time giving HJs, so there was no way I was letting her touch any part of my body that wasn't my feet. My feet did feel great afterwards, though. I made my way down to Causeway Bay, figuring that I would walk around and find a place for dinner that looked good. I strolled around, unsure, until I saw a shining beacon of hope: a large autographed photo of Anthony Bourdain in the window of the Under Bridge Spicy Crab restaurant. I of course went inside to try their house speciality. Market price for a small crab was listed as $300HK (about $38US - by far my biggest splurge meal of the whole trip). I asked for "Very Spicy" - the second-hottest level of spice listed on the menu (I figured "Super Spicy" was just silly). The waitress tried to talk me out of it, but I insisted I could handle it. The crab showed up on a huge plate ("that's a SMALL one?") covered with a layer of chili flakes and dried chilis about 3 inches deep. I dug in, feeling not shy at all about getting in there and picking apart the crabby bits with my fingers. My lips were soon burning and my nose was running. Even worse, as my nose continued to run it started to secrete chili oil making my face burn. I loved every second of it and finished the whole crab - even extracting the meat out of the legs, which meant sucking on chili-covered shell. The waitress kept coming to check if I was ok. I told her it was great, even though I'm sure I looked like hell. After dinner I went straight to 7-11 for some ice cream. Between dinner and the sunburn, I still feel hot all over. And I can't believe I have to leave tomorrow! waaaaaaaaaah

DATELINE: Hong Kong, China 

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Author: Lauren Cohen

Last stop on the grand tour (sigh). The bus ride was uneventful and fortuitously dropped us off in Kowloon, right near the Metro and only 4 stops from my hotel. I'm staying at a place my dad recommended, the Salisbury YMCA--and, yes, it *is* fun to stay here. First of all they "upgraded" me to a "standard room" (I had no idea that the room I reserved was below standards), and it is enormous. People had prepared me for closet-sized rooms, Manhattan style, but this room is bif enough that I could do cartwheels in it. If I could do cartwheels, which I don't think I actually can do anymore (might not stop me from trying, though). They gave me shampoo AND conditioner! I haven't uses conditioner in 3 weeks, so it's going to feel so luxurious. There's a flatscreen TV, a big wardrobe (I might even unpack my backpack here), and a minibar! Snacks offered include cashew nuts, Pringles, and instant mashed potatoes with beef. I probably won't use it, but I love the novelty of having one. Oh, and I am obviously going to order room service for breakfast, just because I can. Muahahahahaha. My hotel is also in a great location: I'm around the corner from both Louis Vuitton and Outback Steakhouse! Kidding aside, the location really is great. I'm right on the water and was able to watch the light show this evening just by going across the street. There are restaurants everywhere. I ate at a Japanese place recommended by Lonely Planet (didn't have sushi though--not going to risk getting food poisoning this late in the game). It's busy here and all lit up. There's a distinct seediness alongside the cosmopolitan element though, in a sort of Vegas-y way: yes, that's a Chanel store on the bottom floor, but I'm pretty sure bad things are going on upstairs. Walking down the street mens encountering a barrage of men asking "Miss, you want..." (half the time I don't even listen to hear what they're offering me because I'm pretty sure the answer is no) and women thrusting massage service fliers into my hand. I plan to have a fun-packed day tomorrow, so for now I'm going to take a bubble bath, wash (and condition!) my hair, and, heck, maybe even crack open one of those $22HKD (less than $3 US) beers from the minibar. Might as well enjoy this lifestyle while I can!

DATELINE: Guangzhou, China 

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Author: Lauren Cohen

Where we last left off, I was searching for a Cantonese restaurant that had been recommended to me. I found it (turned out the cabbie hadn't been too far off), and am so glad I did. I ordered roast suckling pig and roast goose over rice. Both were crispy, fatty, succulent, and just plain delicious. After my late lunch, I took the Metro down to Beijing Rd. I only had to transfer twice, and I felt like a pro. By the time I arrived, the sun was down and the neon lights were in full force. I took some great pictures--I think. There were lanterns and Christmas lights on the trees, and people and shops everywhere. Once again I was astounded by the sheer volume of stuff for sale - I walked into a building that contained corridors of stalls, dozens of them, all selling fake Nike and Converse shoes. Where does all this stuff go if nobody buys it? I walked back to my hotel and was drenched in sweat by the time I made it. Determined not to make my one night in Guangzhou an early one, I showered and dressed to head out again. Charlie had recommended a couple of dive bars, after I told him my nightlife preference, but they were a significant distance from my hotel and neither Metro nor taxi appealed to me at that moment. I ate some dumplings, then ventured in to one of the many nightclubs in the vicinity of my hotel. I chose Soho bar. As soon as I walked in, an older Chinese man ushered me over to where his friends were sitting. They shared the pitcher of whatever they were drinking (Henessey cut with something very very sweet - I never quite figured out what) and wouldn't let me leave even though the language barrier meant we couldn't have much of a conversation. Also, I was about 95% sure they thought I was a prostitute. There wasn't much space for dancing, and a skinny guy with a Jackie Chan haircut and a sequined jacket was enthusiastically lip-synching in the spotlight. I left and walked over to another club, which seemed more promising because of the giant Jack Daniels posters outside. I walked the perimeter of the inside looking for the bar, only to realize that it was all table service. Once again, no dance floor. Club #3 was more of the same, but at least there was a bar where I could sit and order what turned out to be the worst cocktail I'd ever had. It tasted like mouthwash. A German guy came over to talk to me, advised me to stick to simple drinks, and ordered me a whiskey cola. He said that the nightclubs in Guangzhou are all really strange - with no dance floor (despite the pounding dance music) and young people gathered around tables playing dice games. I finished my drink. German dude offered to walk me back to my hotel, but I declined (it was literally right around the corner). I went back and watched a Chinese infomercial about electronic cigarettes. At least part of the program was devoted to the premise that regular cigarettes cause birth defects. They illustrated this point by showing a crying woman, a photograph of a hideously and improbably deformed infant, and the same crying woman hitting her cigarette-smoking husband repeatedly. They also cut to a stout, effeminate man lounging in a plush chair and enjoying his electronic cigarette. The "doctors" giving testimonials were all white guys. I'm not sure what to make of that. This morning: checked out of hotel and stashed bags, dim sum lunch (not as good as Philly or NYC, but maybe I didn't order well -- it was a checklist menu all in Chinese rather than carts that allow you to point to things that look good). They brought me chicken feet, even though I know the name for them in Chinese and am pretty sure I didn't order them. The people working in the restaurant seemed to all be watching to see how I would react to them - little do they know, I'm a dim sum Pro. The turnip cake was great, but the char siu bao (my favorite) was kind of disappointing - too little pork and the bun was quite dry. I'll try again in Hong Kong, but even if I don't get great dim sum here, I know it's something I can find easily at home. No worries, mon. Now I'm on the bus to Hong Kong, and I can't believe it's my last stop before going home. I'm so sad that my adventure is almost over, but I can't wait to see my friends and give them presents!

DATELINE: Guangzhou, China 

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Author: Lauren Cohen

The rest of my train ride was relaxing and enjoyable. I talked to the mother and son in my compartment a little because she spoke some English and explained that her 8-year-old son was learning English in an after-school program. She even asked if I work for Wal-Mart because she recognize the Sam Walton button on my bag (thanks Andy!). When I wasn't reading, I entertained myself by helping Daniel (the kid's English name) practice his phrases, much to his mom's delight. For dinner I grabbed one of the rice boxes from the ladies who came around with carts. In addition to white rice, it contained (in descending order of deliciousness): breaded pork on a stick, ground pork with pickled hot peppers, marinated mushrooms, a cold and tasteless omelet, and rubbery bean curd. When I didn't finish, Daniel became concerned that I don't like Chinese food. I tried my best to explain that the food on trains isn't very good in America either. Sleeping on the train was just heavenly. The motion of the train was soothing and felt directionless when I closed my eyes. I need to do this train thing more often (Trans-Siberian sometime in the future perhaps? I met some travelers who had been on it). I slept soundly all night, then fell back to sleep in the morning after brushing my teeth and all that. Guangzhou is hot and busy. It took awhile to get my room because the hotel couldn't find my online reservation (the hotel in Kunming also had this problem, yet none of the cheap backpacker hostels did. Curious). My hotel is right on the Pearl River, which should provide some nice walking this evening. Then I was off to find a Cantonese restaurant recommended to me by the acquaintance I made in Kunming. I showed the address in Chinese to the cabbie and he said OK, but he turned clueless soon after and I somehow ended up in the electronics district. At least there was a McDonalds so I could get some fries as a snack (whenever a Chinese person makes me mad, I get an insatiable craving for American fast food. It's like my own personal patriotic rebellion) and a Starbucks so I could use free wi-fi and pick up a copy of the local English-language magazine with restaurant and bar listings. Roast pork awaits!

DATELINE: ?, China 

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Author: Lauren Cohen

Stupid internet.

DATELINE: ?, China 

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Author: Lauren Cohen

Hour 3 of the 23-hour train journey from Kunming to Guangzhou. I just ate something delicious in the dining car. It was pork, I think, with onions in a spicy chili-oil-hued sauce. Some of the pieces were pure fat and some had the soft texture of offal, but everything tasted like the sauce. I'm sharing a compartment with a mother and son, and a single lady. All Chinese--in fact everyone I've seen on the train is Chinese. The little boy had a McDonald's bag and offered me some French fries. My upper-berth soft-sleeper is very comfortable and has plenty of head room, a cozy blanket, and a pillow with a pillowcase that smells freshly laundered. The other people in my compartment seem to want to sleep even though it's the middle of the afternoon, so I have to use my book light whenever we go through a tunnel. (Last night, Charlie asked me how many books I've finished during this trip. "None, but I've been reading Dostoyevsky.")The hard-sleeper cars seem more lively, with people talking and playing cards across the aisles. I'm sure when nighttime comes, though, I'll appreciate having a quiet compartment with a door that closes.

DATELINE: ?, China 

(Click map for more useful detail)

Author: Lauren Cohen

Hour 3 of the 23-hour train journey from Kunming to Guangzhou. I just ate something delicious in the dining car. It was pork, I think, with onions in a spicy chili-oil-hued sauce. Some of the pieces were pure fat and some had the soft texture of offal, but everything tasted like the sauce. I'm sharing a compartment with a mother and son, and a single lady. All Chinese--in fact everyone I've seen on the train is Chinese. The little boy had a McDonald's bag and offered me some French fries. My upper-berth soft-sleeper is very comfortable and has plenty of head room, a cozy blanket, and a pillow with a pillowcase that smells freshly laundered. The other people in my compartment seem to want to sleep even though it's the middle of the afternoon, so I have to use my book light whenever we go through a tunnel. The hard-sleeper cars seem more lively, with people talking and playing cards across the aisles. I'm sure when nighttime comes, though, I'll appreciate having a quiet compartment with a door that closes.