DATELINE: Guangzhou, China 

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Author: Lauren Cohen

Where we last left off, I was searching for a Cantonese restaurant that had been recommended to me. I found it (turned out the cabbie hadn't been too far off), and am so glad I did. I ordered roast suckling pig and roast goose over rice. Both were crispy, fatty, succulent, and just plain delicious. After my late lunch, I took the Metro down to Beijing Rd. I only had to transfer twice, and I felt like a pro. By the time I arrived, the sun was down and the neon lights were in full force. I took some great pictures--I think. There were lanterns and Christmas lights on the trees, and people and shops everywhere. Once again I was astounded by the sheer volume of stuff for sale - I walked into a building that contained corridors of stalls, dozens of them, all selling fake Nike and Converse shoes. Where does all this stuff go if nobody buys it? I walked back to my hotel and was drenched in sweat by the time I made it. Determined not to make my one night in Guangzhou an early one, I showered and dressed to head out again. Charlie had recommended a couple of dive bars, after I told him my nightlife preference, but they were a significant distance from my hotel and neither Metro nor taxi appealed to me at that moment. I ate some dumplings, then ventured in to one of the many nightclubs in the vicinity of my hotel. I chose Soho bar. As soon as I walked in, an older Chinese man ushered me over to where his friends were sitting. They shared the pitcher of whatever they were drinking (Henessey cut with something very very sweet - I never quite figured out what) and wouldn't let me leave even though the language barrier meant we couldn't have much of a conversation. Also, I was about 95% sure they thought I was a prostitute. There wasn't much space for dancing, and a skinny guy with a Jackie Chan haircut and a sequined jacket was enthusiastically lip-synching in the spotlight. I left and walked over to another club, which seemed more promising because of the giant Jack Daniels posters outside. I walked the perimeter of the inside looking for the bar, only to realize that it was all table service. Once again, no dance floor. Club #3 was more of the same, but at least there was a bar where I could sit and order what turned out to be the worst cocktail I'd ever had. It tasted like mouthwash. A German guy came over to talk to me, advised me to stick to simple drinks, and ordered me a whiskey cola. He said that the nightclubs in Guangzhou are all really strange - with no dance floor (despite the pounding dance music) and young people gathered around tables playing dice games. I finished my drink. German dude offered to walk me back to my hotel, but I declined (it was literally right around the corner). I went back and watched a Chinese infomercial about electronic cigarettes. At least part of the program was devoted to the premise that regular cigarettes cause birth defects. They illustrated this point by showing a crying woman, a photograph of a hideously and improbably deformed infant, and the same crying woman hitting her cigarette-smoking husband repeatedly. They also cut to a stout, effeminate man lounging in a plush chair and enjoying his electronic cigarette. The "doctors" giving testimonials were all white guys. I'm not sure what to make of that. This morning: checked out of hotel and stashed bags, dim sum lunch (not as good as Philly or NYC, but maybe I didn't order well -- it was a checklist menu all in Chinese rather than carts that allow you to point to things that look good). They brought me chicken feet, even though I know the name for them in Chinese and am pretty sure I didn't order them. The people working in the restaurant seemed to all be watching to see how I would react to them - little do they know, I'm a dim sum Pro. The turnip cake was great, but the char siu bao (my favorite) was kind of disappointing - too little pork and the bun was quite dry. I'll try again in Hong Kong, but even if I don't get great dim sum here, I know it's something I can find easily at home. No worries, mon. Now I'm on the bus to Hong Kong, and I can't believe it's my last stop before going home. I'm so sad that my adventure is almost over, but I can't wait to see my friends and give them presents!